MPR Softball 20th Anniversary Season

2000

18 – 14 – 1

[Men’s team: 5 – 5]

“We came, we saw… whatever.”

Ty Cobb – the original Wick
Well, it’s been a quiet year for the MPR softball team… like hell! The Y2K edition of the little team that time forgot featured a bumper crop of rookies who brought intensity, enthusiasm, and a capacity for beer consumption that the old-timers could only observe with wry nostalgia before tottering home to survey their dwindling supplies of rheumatism pills. As they drifted off to their fitful elderly slumbers, many of them could be heard murmuring, “I wonder how you get on one of those Mark Dayton bus trips to Canada…” And yet these same decrepit, cranky, crackle-jointed geezers managed to defeat their gazelle-like younger teammates in the renewed Old Fart/Young Pup season-ending contest. If there’s an explanation, the Historian has declined to share it with this humble scribe.

Other 2000 highlights: The team experienced only the second tie game in its history, an 8-inning nail-biter that, strangely enough, was not anything like kissing your sister… The team took second place in the one-day league tourney held in June, winning $100 and screwing up its amateur status just in time for the Olympics… During the tournament in August, all sorts of stuff happened. The team played for approximately seven straight hours in blinding heat and humidity with nary a pause for water, analgesics, or the all-important re-application of deodorant. Bill Wareham, normally a Gandhi-esque figure of calm and nonviolence, got himself tossed from a game for daring to question the umpire’s intelligence and judgment. The MPR squad made a remarkable comeback against a team that was thoroughly convinced they’d won, roaring back in the last inning to wipe the smirks off their faces. And on the topic of, um, wiping – Linda Wareham was observed delicately providing Tom Scheck with first aid for an abrasion (suffered while gallantly sliding into third base) in a rather inconvenient and difficult-to-access location. All who witnessed this incredible act of human kindness have been haunted by it ever since… And finally, the Historian is happy to report that it has now been over two years since anyone on the MPR team has abandoned a child in a tavern.

Roster
*=Mens’ Team

Captains Jim Bickal, *Randy Greenly

Rookies of the Year Allison Gredesky, Tim Jacobson

Most Improved Jeff Johnson

Batting Champions Tom Rothman, Allison Gredesky

Golden Glove Tom Scheck

Most Valuable Gary Eichten, Randy Greenly

Whippet of the Year Bridget Jacobson

20th Anniversary Whippets Nancy Rothman, Linda Wareham

The Wick Shrieking Tournament Teens

The Historian has dictated the following congratulatory remark: “Thanks, everyone, for 20 great years of softball. Notice I didn’t say 20 years of great softball. Let’s not kid ourselves. But thanks. You’re a great group, and hey, all those bloops and squibbers and cue shots look like line drives in the scorebook. Play ball!”

The Historian’s

Hall of Fame

Now entering the Hall… Kirk Horsted (1987 – 98)… The team’s all-time leading bon vivant, Kirk is as comfortable with a pitcher of Premium as he is with a rare Italian grappa, as content with a big ol’ Schweigert ring as he is with a paper-thin carpaccio. Kirk is without a doubt the only MPR player who could tell you what wine to drink with Rice Krispie bars, potato salad, and Jim Bickal’s famous beans. Old-timers fondly remember Kirk’s awe-inspiring confrontation with “the worm” at a legendary wake. Hand-in-hand with Kirk’s oenological and gustatory expertise was his performance on the field, where he was a stalwart figure on defense and a solid hitter with a fine, compact swing.

Now entering the Satchel Paige Wing…

Randy Johnson (1986 – ) (Whippet of the Year – ’90; Most Improved – ’88, ’98)… RJ! RJ! RJ! How many players have their own trademark move? Kareem had the Skyhook. Tiger Woods has the fist pump. RJ has the Flipper. That nonchalant little thing he does with his glove while he’s waiting under a fly ball, as if to say, “Come to Papa.” One of the most dedicated and dependable players the MPR team has ever had – RJ is always there, at practices, games, and chalk talks. What’s more, if there was a team bus, RJ would be the driver. The newer team members may not know that he made one of the most dramatic catches in team history, at the 1988 Goodwill Tournament: an over-the-shoulder, dead-run, back-to-home-plate grab that was Willie Mays – like in its artistry. The Historian is delighted to welcome RJ to the Satchel Paige Wing.

Tom Rothman (1983 – ) (Rookie of the Year – ’83; Whippet of the Year – ’84; MVP – ’85, ’87, ’88, ’94; Batting Champion – ’86, ’87, ’88, ’91, ’92, ’94, ’98, ’00; Captain – ’85 – ’87, ’89 – ’90, ’93 – ’94)… What can we say about Tom? That he’s won so many batting titles because he dinks all his hits to right field? Nah – we’d all hit to right field if we could do it with such consistency. Tom is the quintessential gamer. During warmups he can barely throw the ball 10 feet, and he’s whining miserably about the loss of his wing, but once the game starts he’s gunning people out right and left. He’s the master of the inside-out swing, the fake-out double play at shortstop, the slicing liner over first base, and the mighty grunt of Herculean effort when he goes after one of those low, outside pitches. Truly one of the best all-around players in team history. A farm director who’s too good to play on the farm club.

Bill Wareham (1983 – ) (Whippet of the Year – ’89; Most Improved – ’91; Golden Glove – ’99; Captain – ’88 – ’90, ’97 – ’98)… As a player, Bill has many gifts – including a boatload of brothers who could be called upon to help fill out the team for tournaments during the lean years. In his own right, Bill has been a mainstay of the MPR team for 18 years, playing excellent defense in both the infield and outfield, running the bases with aggressiveness and smarts, and turning in one of the team’s best hitting performances, year in and year out (well, except for those two Bombat years – but hey, those were back in the ’80s). In fact, Bill made a dramatic mid-career swing change several years back – training himself to drive the ball to right rather than pulling it to left – and he’s only gotten better since. Bill has a classic baseball persona, too – quiet and philosophical, except when he’s screaming at the umpire and getting thrown out of the game.

The Historian congratulates all of this year’s inductees. If you’re going to operate a Hall of Fame, you couldn’t ask for four nicer guys to reside there.

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