1999

9-18

Hardware. We’re talking hardware. After playing in the State
Employees League since 1986, the MPR co-rec team finally brings
home some hardware from the annual postseason tournament,
finishing second to a team studded with steroid-popping bionic
ringers. (This was the first tournament of the Jesse Ventura
administration… hmmm.) Solid defense, timely hitting, a can-do
attitude – where have these things been for the past 13 years, the
Historian wonders. The big glitzy trophy makes a less-than-stellar
regular co-rec season (4-7) a lot easier to look back on. Nothing,
however, could make it easier to look back on the men’s team’s 1-9
performance. Picture poor Coach Bentley desperately telephoning
every male human being he’s ever met in his life and still not coming
up with enough bodies to field a team, and you have a capsule
version of the men’s season. Have the men of MPR at long last
begun to pay heed to the gentle whisperings of Father Time? You’re
getting on in years… If you try to run, you might pull a hamstring…
How are the bifocals working out?… There’s no other way to put this:
You suck… Perhaps MPR ballplayers were distracted by the
Congressional investigation into alleged shady practices involving
the team’s mailing list – specifically, a report that the team had sold
the names and addresses of previous Wick award winners to the
Norm Coleman gubernatorial campaign. Speaking to Ted Koppel on
ABC’s Nightline, MPR president Bill Kling said, “I don’t even know
what a Wick is,” and “Excuse me, Ted – are you trying to suggest
that we have a softball team?” Of course we have a softball team,
and we have the hardware to prove it. Speaking of the Wick, there
isn’t one this year. It’s a little disappointing, of course, but probably
a good sign for the human race in general and softball players in
particular. Finally, and most importantly, the Historian is pleased
to note: No children were abandoned in taverns during the playing
of this season.

1999 ROSTER

* = Men’s Team* Mike Anderson Sasha Aslanian * Clifford Bentley* Jim Bickal * Bickal’s Childhood Buddy * Matt Chase Charity Dahlien Cari Dwyer Mike Edgerly * Gary Eichten Jeff Engleking Annie Feidt Alan Frechtman * Randy Greenly Libby Hupf Shirley Idelson * Jeff Johnson Laurie Johnson * Randy Johnson

* Tom Kigin Emily Koch* Rolfe Larson Brian Morris Kari Ness Tim Pugmire Leah (the) Ringer* Speedy (the) Ringer Stacy (the) Ringer Nancy Rothman * Tom Rothman * Al Schoch Elizabeth Stawicki * Tu Tong Martha Van Tassel * Genaro Vasquez * Tim Walstrom * Bill Wareham Linda Wareham

CAPTAINS	*Clifford Bentley, Jim Bickal, Randy Greenly
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR	Alan Frechtman
MOST IMPROVED	Cari Dwyer
BATTING CHAMPIONS	Randy Greenly, Martha Van Tassel
GOLDEN GLOVE	Bill Wareham
MOST VALUABLE	Randy Greenly
WHIPPET OF THE YEAR	Al Schoch

The Historian’s

Hall of Fame

Now entering the Satchel Paige Wing… LINDA WAREHAM
(1983- )
(Whippet of the Year-’84. ’85, ’94; Most Improved-’89: Batting
Champion-’90. ’94, ’98; Captain/a.k.a. Co-Queen-’91-’92. ’94-
’98)… An absolute mainstay of the team for the past 16 years, a
charter member of the legendary Party Patrol, a proud Bombat
winner – what more could you ask for in a Satchel Paige Wing
inductee? Linda’s athletic ability, enthusiasm, and competitive spirit
make her the quintessential MPR team member. But that’s only part
of the Linda Wareham story. She’s been known to fling herself and
her unborn child into bone-jarring collisions on the basepaths, to
complain endlessly about how she was robbed of her eligibility for
the Rookie of the Year award, and to visit the Boundary Waters
Canoe Area with her imaginary chain-smoking friend, “Martha.” All
these qualities, and so many more, have earned Linda a permanent
place in the hearts of her teammates. She is truly “a Whippet for allseasons.”

Now entering the Hall… AL CALLIES
(1991-97) (Rookie of the Year-
’91)… One hell of a hurler. Al came to the team at a time when
crippling fear of dental disaster had left the pitching ranks
dangerously thin. And even though Al experienced such disaster
himself, he knew no fear. Inning after inning, game after game, he
faced down hitters with his impassive, narrow-eyed stare and did
what had to be done: he hit the rug. It should also be pointed out
that during Al’s tenure, the men’s team had some of its best years,
thanks in large part to his steady presence on the mound. A slow-
pitch surgeon and a chalk-talk champ.

And moving from the Satchel Paige Wing to the Hall proper… JOHN
MICHEL
(1986-90, 1992-96) (Most Improved-’87:)… The Siddhartha
of softball. John threw with the best, amazed with the bat, but most
of all shone with the concept. From pregame T’ai Chi to postseason
wakes, John was
MPR softball – where softball is more than a sport.
He is the only player to actively campaign for Satchel Paige Wing
admission, which the Historian proudly conferred. The Historian is
just as proud to welcome John to permanent residency in the Hall.

Return to MPR Softball Home

No Comments »